I received an anon question about Cinnri and Tethered and all of my projects, and I answered what I could for the app, however, I felt like this needed more insight.
As many artists, I was lost. Sometimes, with being freelance, it's hard to find your path, your niche, your THING that not only sparks joy but your mind holds onto it for longer than a month. I chalked it up to myself and just my oddities with art.
I can absolutely recognize that sometimes I get so many ideas, I try to work on one or more. Then I run out of steam creatively for them, and next thing you know my brain is obsessed with these other two things.
With Tethered, I tried. I actually did more for it than i've ever done on a project, and i'm extremely proud of that. Except that it had been two years and it wasn't gaining traction. I had a small community for it, and still have some devout followers, but I wasn't getting tips for it, nor paid for it and I don't trust Patreon anymore, so I was limited creatively on making money for it, all while trying to do commissions too and not progressing with my art like I wanted.
Comics take a lot of work to do, especially when you're artist, letter, storyboarder, colorist, everything all in one. I did have amazing story help from my brother James, but producing a comic is hard. Advertising it and keeping it hyped, is hard. And while I know others do it every day, last year my mental and physical health took a nose dive and I couldn't do it anymore. I also had a very hard conversation with myself and knew I couldn't blame the audience for this. It's not everyone elses fault for not reading, ultimately, it was mine. I realized very late into it, that I am very literal when it comes to drawing comics. I feel like every. single. thing. has to be shown some how, some way, and any comics person will tell you, that's not how it works. Except, that's the only way my brain wants to do it.
At the same time, I spent so much time on the minimal style of the comic, that I wasn't progressing in other areas that I enjoyed so much. My pin-ups were lacking and I was itching to try painting but just didn't have the time. Plus, as soon as I started learning something, I quickly forgot because I would have to work on the comic.
I know I had a lot of other projects too. The Harpies as a playable race thing, Eclipsed, Twin Blades, Night Elf Paladin things. I also know I dropped them all because, even though I had an idea of where I wanted to be going, I felt like nothing was clicking. And if Tethered wasn't working, I didn't feel like doing WoW comics was going to end any better.
So I chalked it up to trying different things to see what I could find for myself, and that lead me to the Starfallen Elves and Starscrypt Oracle cards. When all was said and done, and I asked myself what I truly, TRULY, wanted to do, the answers were not what they would have been 5 years ago, or even 2.
If I had it all to do over again, I would have gone to SCAD for fashion design. Then I would have learned sewing and designing my own costumes/outfits. Hand in hand with that, would be to do occult and pagan art. I've always loved Tarot cards and after working with them and other elements, I decided to make an Oracle deck called Starscrypt.
Those are my main focus right now in conjunction with commissions. I know I've let a few down with this, and I apologize for my severe lack of direction. I've struggled with this side of my life for so many years. I had no one who took it seriously and scoffed at me making a career out of it and that I thought I would do it out of "spite". But as i'm working on myself and have a wonderful support group, I realize spite is not a healthy fuel for _my_ art. Instead of doing it for people who don't deserve it, i'm going to do it for me.
I hope people stick around, but I understand that with not focusing on video game art anymore, that this will see some of y'all go. I can only say that i'm still taking video game related commissions, and I still love doing fan art occasionally, but if you do go, I wish you well. Your support helped me find myself as an artist, and i'm forever grateful for that.
Thank you, all of you, for the support and the understanding. I love working with the gaming community, and I love games, and I love you all. I think i'm finally figuring things out and how to make stuff work for me, instead of changing myself to make things work and I hope you all stay to watch me grow <3